Now, I will never insult the musical tastes of anyone. I'm the most musically inept individual you'll ever meet. Until Neal and Robin started subjecting me to monthly musical inoculations in the form of new iTunes playlists, I was like "The Strokes"? Aren't they that....band...with that.....song?
And a million other embarrassing gaping holes in my musical knowledge. Tom Waits? For who? WHO IS TOM WAITING FOR!?
So, that being said, and due credit being given to the two of them for excellent music tastes, you have to know about what I will now refer to as 'Playlist Sabotage'
Playlist Sabotage is what happens when Neal decides, against all taste, prior feedback, or general human decency, that I should be subjected to certain songs, songs that are, for lack of a better word, CRAP.
Not even crap/funny. Just crap/crap. Okay, Raspberry Beret was ironically enjoyable, but the additional 10 songs by Prince on my October list!?
Or, "Candy Licker" and "Put Yo Condom on my Tongue" by Marvin Sease? Do you have any idea how much it sucks to walk around in public, catching oneself singing internally "Gonna lick you up....gonna lick you down....come on baby, gonna lick you all around"
It's like blacking out and waking up pantsless in the middle of a McDonald's Playground ball-pit. Full of old men.
The entire purpose of the list is to avoid all the catchy crappy music that I myself downloaded over the years. And every month, someone makes an effort to thwart those dreams of mine.
Or, Human by the Killers. That song should be shot and hung, and then burned, and then eaten by the demon that will one day claim my soul. Because the next time I want to hear that catchy-ass, brain-glued, totally Club 322 song is in hell. But no, I get to hear it between many of the great songs these lovely friends put on this list for me.
(swear to god, this just started playing. [Ignore the video part] At least Neal's not singing it for money.)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
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6 comments:
Let me be the first to agree with you that "Human" is an utterly insufferable song. I saw that they had a new single out and I downloaded it. Sue me. Or, better yet, just delete it from the play list.
As for the sabotage, which was deliberate, I'll just say that it was an experiment to see if you'd blindly listen to anything we told you to ("we" being primarily "me": Robin shares your same disdain for Marvin Sease and Joe Esposito)or if you'd acknowledge that lots of songs are shitty and you need to decipher which ones are good by yourself. Congratulations. It looks as though you passed. However, perhaps this now cripples any faith you may still have for me as a music critic.
But I do love Prince.
Hey now, don't be dogging Prince.
The day I thoughtlessly like something because you deemed it so is the day we go get matching Plaid Arm Sleeve Tattoos. Ahem.
And as for Prince, the main problem with these awful songs is that I find myself halfway through them nodding along before "aack! Damn it, prince....I'm not gonna sing you, not at work. No sir. Dammit Neal. NEXT."
My goodness, Matt...I got such a clear visual of you doing just that. It was a vision of loveliness.
matt, i could barrage you with the most amazing music known to man... here are a few hits to choose from...
adults only by slick rick
down south players by haystack
milkman by aphex twin
sovay by andrew bird and last but no least...
the hamster dance just look it up...
Dirt Nasty - 1980.
You are welcome.
Love,
Hunter aka Camoflage
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