The Moonshine Stalker

The other night, I was hanging out with everyone, sans-Russler, because he's currently in the process of....well, I'll let him tell that story.

Anyway, we were drinking and having a jolly-good time at the house of the future, and Alison graced us with her presence.

As per usual, we were being our night-owl selves, and as the night came to a close we made the decision we always make, to KEEP HANGING OUT. So, we get in the cars, and head back to my place to watch some you tube and have a few more drinks without having to drive. Good times, right?

Little did I know that such a simple task could go so horribly awry.

I'm driving home, sort of texting but trying to be a responsible driver, of course. Alison left before me, so I caught up to her in traffic. I follower her almost all the way home, and then she makes a strange turn. I'm like "well, I've lived here for well over a decade, maybe she knows some route I don't know." Because that makes sense.

She turns once, turns again, and now we're in some residential area that I've never seen in my life. She parks the car, and we're obviously at a house party. My first thoughts were "uuuggghhhh I just want to go home and drink some more and go to bed, I'm not in the mood to be social. Geez." and then I just pull up my big-boy britches and get out of the car. I had brought my liquor home with me from Amandas, so I grabbed that (don't want to show up to a party empty-handed, amiright?) take a heavy sigh, and approach her car.

She hasn't gotten out yet, which is weird. I get closer, blackberry in one hand, liquor in the other, with this look of "WTF?" on my face.

That is when I see that it is not Alison. It is not Alison at all. It is two terrified young blond girls that look like they are in some sort of screwed up horror movie.

And, of course, they are entitled, because A STRANGE MAN JUST FOLLOWED THEM HOME AND APPROACHED THEIR CAR WITH A MYSTERIOUS OBJECT AND A BOTTLE.

At this point, one of two things needs to happen. A civilized apology, full of remorse and 'oh, we'll laugh about this tomorrow' and somewhere in the back of my mind, I'd really still be hoping to stand Alison up and have these two lovely ladies invite me in to their party.

I amaze myself with my own ability to be so delusional.

I chose the OTHER way to handle it. Observe.

Step 1. Stare blankly.

Step 2. Throw hands in the air.

Step 3. Roll eyes, exclaim "uuuggghhhh!"

Step 4. Immediately get back in car and drive away.

So, if I'd just looked for the Dharma Pearl on Alison's car, this could have all been avoided. I'm surprised they didn't call the cops or shoot me. That is all.

An apology, of sorts.

I'm sitting here with my first beer in three days, debating what to write you all about. Where to start? We gained your trust, your enthusiasm, your heartfelt fandom, and what did we do with it?

Well, we did with our fanbase what all the great legends do - disregarded it entirely. There were days where blog posts seemed likely - necessary, even. Stories that needed telling, rumors that needed stirring, people that needed cajoling, and we turned our backs to the one outlet that makes this possible for more time than is really excusable.

This was not all for naught, however. If you know anything about my partner in crime or myself, the last thing we would do is get all lazy on you. The stories kept piling up, the adventures grew more daring and demanding of our time, and there just wasn't time to stop and rehash it all.

I think one of my main resolutions is that you will start to hear stories that took place in the wider realm of our lives, outside the [now far quieter] walls of 2171.

But still, the last two months have been bubbling with activity. Hopefully, in time, those of you that didn't get to share in the jubilee and debauchery can be brought up to speed.

Let's drop back in to the real world for the closest thing to a rational explanation you're going to get. Neal is working all the time, and I went art-nuts. I think I can speak for us both when I say, we've been up to our eyes in it, and when we weren't we've all about good times and taking it easy the best way we know how, friends, family, libations, and of course, LOST. It's not easy being this awesome all the time, let alone articulating it for the masses that don't make their dutiful pilgrimage to this place.

As I write this very post, Crank Dat Soulja Boy just started playing on the iTunes shuffle. This can be nothing other than a sign from the universe that I'm supposed to tell you a story about a few friends, a holiday, and a randomly accepted invitation to a lake house that went horribly, beautifully right in a way none of us could imagine. No, there wasn't an orgy. I'll be challenged to even put the event into words that do it an iota of justice. However, I'll do my best. For now, let this next [and last] sentence be your teaser for now, and there is more to come.

"You should know that when Patti Irwin is going to pick you up somewhere, take you somewhere else, and she has only the vaguest idea of where you're going, you should go ahead and call your loved ones and remind them that you love them, and that you'll see them on the other side."